Weak moment

I have been babysitting a new born the last week and most days have gone as expected tough at times but then he takes long naps.  Well today his mom brought pumped milk and was feed it to him straight from the fridge.  After a several hours of trying to feed him and trying to get him to sleep I realized it was probably the cold milk.  I warmed it up and tried feeding him and he was taking it but kept falling asleep but as soon as I set him down he would wake up just crying from hunger or because Aleana was bugging him.  Mean while I have been trying to take care of Aleana and helping her with her potty training but having to spend most of my day with the baby. She would try to get my attention and then go off and try to take care of her self like pulling a cucumber out of the fridge pilling it and eating it (mind you she is two).  Well Aleana was trying to help clean out the dishwasher and climbing around getting things off the counter. I hear this crash and shatter and come in to see the a bowl broken on the floor.  I grab Aleana with out thinking and spank her and because I was so up set I hit her again this time getting her bear leg.  She looks at me and starts crying and I start bawling like I have not bawled in a long long time.  All three of us are just crying our eyes out, it was not a pretty sight.  I was not so upset that I patted Aleana's bum because she acting out I was more upset that I hit her out of frustration. I got the baby cried himself to sleep and I rocked his car seat a minute after.  Once I got Aleana ready she crashed in my arms fast, the poor girl was so tired.  I hope that tomorrow goes better, it is real training for a second kid one day.